The power of contradictions

oxymoron

[ok-si-mawr-on, -mohr-] 
noun

1. Figure that binds together two words that are ordinarily contradictory; a two-word paradox; two words with contrary or apparently contradictory meanings occurring next to each other, and, which, nonetheless, evoke some measure of truth; the figure conjures a new way of seeing or understanding.

Ever since I watched Tom Hanks having an oxymoron war with his son in the movie Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close I decided to proclaim myself an oxymoron enthusiast.

Apart from the entertaining game of finding two opposite words that fit, I believe the underlying reason behind me favoriting this rhetorical figure is the fact that it evidences the viability of two opposites working together: two words which stand for completely opposite concepts find a way to not only coexist but to create something brand new.

It was only after I proclaimed myself an oxymoron fan that I started seeing this exact same pattern not only in the outside world but also within me…I soon realized that almost everything in life is the product of the complex coexistence of contradictions. 

What am I if not the state that arises from the combination of the inevitable sadness that merges with my constant quest for happiness?

Aren’t all of our minds the product of the messy relationship between our male and female instincts? 

Would it be precise to define myself as a cheerful pessimist?

... Would nostalgic optimist suit me better?  

Aren’t we humans completely alone?
… Completely alone together? 

Isn’t being able to love another the product of loving ourselves?

How could I ever consider myself a thinking person if my mind isn’t capable of maintaining completely contradictory opinions about any given topic?

Isn’t everything I know the combination of all the things I don’t understand? 

Aren’t our virtues the internalization and improvement of our flaws?

Is it possible to have an unbiased opinion? Or is every single one of my opinions the sole product of all of my biases? 

Isn’t my confidence the endurance of all my self-doubt? 

My mind is chaos but it is also calm.  

I love the light but desperately need shadow.

Lately, I’ve been trying to find an adjective that’s broad enough to gather all the characteristics that I believe define what I refer to as my reality, the sum of the things I claim to understand or at least that I’m able to perceive. 

The word messy keeps popping up in my head. 

messy

adjective 

1 : marked by confusion or disorder. 

It would be too easy (and in my opinion extremely inaccurate) to define life as something clear, smooth, steady. Life is a mess. One day we’re somewhere and then in a single instant, the world turns upside down. Life is anything but certain… But isn’t that what makes it so excruciatingly pleasant?

I believe I owe it t to the rhetorical figure that gave light to this post to configure my personal definition of life in a way that falls within its boundaries… I decided to settle for "harmonious mess". 

Let’s just say that life is a mess that somehow makes sense. 

“Opposition in all things. Light and dark, day and night, life and death, front and back. And so much in the middle of all of it” – Mindy Johnson 

Sincerely yours, 

Natalia